Michelle Bianco

Chief Experience Officer

What Do I Need to Consider for Advanced Care Planning?

It’s never easy to talk about the future — especially when it involves advanced care planning.

But having these conversations early can make all the difference later.

Advanced care planning isn’t just about medical forms or legal documents. It’s about understanding what truly matters to your loved one — their values, comfort, and peace of mind — and ensuring those wishes are respected, no matter what happens.

Here’s how to approach the process with clarity, compassion, and confidence.

1. Understand What Advanced Care Planning Is

Advanced care planning is the process of deciding how medical care should be handled if someone is unable to make those decisions themselves.

It includes both the legal documentation and the emotional discussions that help loved ones and healthcare providers know what to do in serious or end-of-life situations.

Key components include:

  • Living will: outlines what treatments or interventions someone wants (or doesn’t want)
  • Durable power of attorney for healthcare: designates who will make decisions if they can’t
  • Advance directive: combines both documents and adds personal preferences about comfort and care

When everyone understands the plan, it removes confusion during high-stress moments.

2. Center the Conversation on Values, Not Just Procedures

Start with the human side before diving into forms. Ask open-ended questions like:

  • “What matters most to you in your later years?”
  • “What does comfort mean to you?”
  • “If you couldn’t speak for yourself, what would you want us to know?”

This shifts the discussion from fear to empowerment. The goal isn’t to predict every scenario — it’s to ensure care aligns with what gives life meaning and dignity.

3. Choose a Trusted Healthcare Proxy

Selecting a healthcare decision-maker is one of the most important parts of advanced care planning. This person should:

  • Understand the individual’s wishes and values
  • Stay calm in emotional situations
  • Communicate effectively with medical teams and family members

Often, this is an adult child, spouse, or close friend. The most important thing is that they are willing and prepared to carry out decisions with integrity.

4. Put It in Writing

Document everything clearly. Many states offer free or low-cost advance directive forms online. Once completed, copies should be shared with:

  • The designated healthcare proxy
  • Primary care doctors
  • Immediate family members

Keep a copy easily accessible at home, and review it every few years as circumstances or preferences evolve.

5. Revisit and Communicate Regularly

Life changes — and so do people’s perspectives on health, independence, and care. Make a habit of revisiting the plan during key life events or medical changes.

Having open conversations ensures everyone stays aligned, reducing the risk of confusion or conflict later.

Tools like Arlow can also help families stay organized — storing notes, reminders, and key contacts in one secure, easy-to-access place.

Key Takeaway

Advanced care planning is ultimately about love — ensuring that care choices reflect your loved one’s voice, not just their circumstances.

By preparing early, you protect both their autonomy and your family’s peace of mind.

It’s one of the most meaningful acts of respect you can offer.

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